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Satanic Rites 4
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Satanic Rites - Issue 4 (1993-05-29)(Destiny).adf
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Nosebleed
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1990-01-05
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}0a00000mff00lf780kfff
~iff.fs1
}0kfff0lff0
{j ** {dSatanic Rites World Exclusive {j** {ehimself.{j
{kDAVID KORESH INTERVIEW{j The names have been changed in
respect of the FBI agent's innocence,
{eSatanic Rites {jscrambled a formidable
staff team to cover the event to
present this report to our readers.
Now, {dUsekastrlgtx {jtakes up the story.
}0i534
After the rather predictable end to
the {kWaco {jseige, there are still many
quaestions that remain unanswered:
Who started the fire? Were the FBI
agents using mustard gas in place of
tear gas? Can I join the sect?
In a World exclusive, {dSatanic Rites{j and the Mafia's demand that we should
(your favourite magazine on disk) do so.
talks to those involved: an FBI
agent, some of the survivors, and {eDave{j (transcript of an interview with an
FBI agent) friends and, to be on the safe side,
}0of890n8de0mfcb0l8eb
half the population of the nearest
{nMe: {a So {lBob{a, are there strong feelings town, have disappeared without trace,
within the FBI about the six dead and their properties have been burned
agents? to the ground! Additionally, every
video and audio tape in a 200 mile
{nSpecial Agent Bob Clinton{a: I can't radius has been {mmagnetically erased!{a
say that I've noticed any.
{nBob: {a That's probably just a
{nMe: {a So you deny the rumours that the coincidence. {lIt happens in America{a
fire was started by the FBI? {lall the time.{a
{nBob: {aI severly doubt there is any {h ----- {a
truth in these rumours.
Unfortunately, we lied earlier and
{nMe: {a But a bystander filmed FBI agents have not actually spoken to the
running towards the ranch with petrol survivors of the fire, as they are at
cans and matches shouting "{kPrepare to{a the moment being beaten up by the
{kdie, you sadistic bastards{a". {kTexan police{a. However, we have spoken
Unfortunately, since then he and all to some of those who died in the fire
}0nfff0md34
{mhis traceable family (going back three through a {kseance {aheld in the rubble of
generations) not to mention their the ranch itself, conducted by
Destiny's famous psychic,{l Madame Pico.{m {nMme Pico: {m Phil dearie, are you still
there?
~iff.mme_pico
}0of780nd34
{nMe:{o Ask him if he was at the ranch.
{nMme Pico: {m Shut up and keep staring!{a
I'm trying to concentrate!
}0n8eb
{nPhil:{o Was I at the ranch? {mYes siree,{o
}0b5370c8de0dfcb0e8eb0fd34
{aSeance: Madame Pico{o gee that was fun. Dave gave me this
gun and told me to shoot anyone who
{nMme Pico: {c Oh, you poor dear!{o moved, so I shot him in the leg; I
dearie me, Dave was here, but now he's think he showed it to the press later.
gone; so I've got {bPhil{o, though he's a
bit high at the moment. Just stare Anyway, later on I was busy shooting
into my crystal ball, luvvie. pigs and taking a few belts as well
when Dave came in and said we were all
{nPhil:{o Hey {cchill out {obabe. Sorry, going to commit suicide, so I shot
this short bloke with horns keeps myself to get out of it.
proding me with his fork. {eGee whizz{o
{eit's hot down here.{o {nMe:{o Did you see any fire at all?
}0bfff
{nPhil:{a {eHeck, {a I'm still trying to put {dcivilised World{a, we were forced to
it out now. communicate by telepathy. Dave
expressed his disappointment at the
{nMme Pico:{a I think we're losing him. lack of understanding of his actions
in the World, after all he is a
{nMe:{a Hey Phil, one last thing, where prophet and everyone should do as he
IS Dave? says. His also expressed
disappointment over the nuclear bomb
{nPhil: {a I think I saw him going to a ({ckept in the basement{a) failing to
cave marked `{dreincarnation{a' or detonate as planned when the ammo dump
something. exploded.
{nMe: {b Thanks Phil. {a Anyhow, no expense spared, we
tracked down {eSatan {a to his home in
downtown Kingston, Jamaica to
{h ----- {a interview him on his role in the
siege.
{bDave,{a after having died in the fire,
was promptly reincarnated as a snail, {nMe: {a So {eSatan{a, why exactly did you
which is where I found him last night. send Dave to {bWaco?{a
Due to a communications gap as large
as that between {dPortugal {aand the {nSatan: {a Yo man, calm your-self!!
~iff.beelzebub
{aSmok-a some ganga and relaex! T'was
better than-a sendin' the guy to
Coventry. Oh fark it, I donna care.
Lieve harpily.
{eMe: {a Won't {nGod {abe a bit pissed off?
{eSatan:{a Oh hell man, you canne
live-a-yer life without upsetting a
few insoignificant men, can you? With
the LA riots over there wasne enough
vio-oh-lance ina America. My message
to God: hey dude, take it easy!
{h -----{a
Although this article has not
answered any of the questions asked at
the beginning, neither does {nPrime
Minister's Question time{a.
{oUsekastrlgtx.